Remember last week I told you one of my friends made the Karen Stone pattern like mine, Yellow Bird In A Blender? Well I was wrong, she made a different one. Cynthia sent me this picture of the Karen Stone quilt she made.....amazing!Another friend Terry whose quilts you have seen here needs to start a blog. We keep trying to convince her but she has not given in....yet. A few weeks ago she had a wedding to go to. Like all of us she went shopping for a dress and here is her shopping report, get ready for a good laugh!
OK, deep breath. Report on the dress. I seriously need an ExcessFlabEctomy. After I dropped Kelly off, I stopped at Steinmart. I found a fairly simple black and white print dress that I could get on. Notice I say "get on" because I realized that I was setting the bar too high for myself by wanting to look, if not actually 'good', at least--acceptable, or at worst--not screaming horrible. My new standard is, can I hang the darn garment on my body and not be arrested for indecent exposure? or ridiculed for truly awful taste as in the "lumber-jack look" debacle. Then I remembered, some of my friends (remaining anonymous) have touted the miracles of "Spanks." So I trudge back to the lingerie department and spend one of the most torturous hours of my life, attempting to determine the correct size and the optimum configuration of this "product" on my body. I decided nothing less than the knees to chin model would make me look like a sleek seventeen-year-old again. I grabbed handfuls of flab from various body sites and stuffed it into the sausage casing suit. This is not fun. Peeling all clothes off then putting on clothes again to go back to the rack for some other size or style. Nothing fit quite right. I bought the dress and went home. Yesterday, I shopped from 10 am to 5:30 trying to find a dress that didn't require 'flab compression.' No luck. Returned to Plan B and scoured the stores for Spanks at Concord Mall. They have many Spanks "Wanna Be's" but no Spanks. Profanity cannot begin to describe my frustration. I return home and have a large glass of wine. This morning I Googled "Spanks" and found they are sold at Nordstroms. Aaaaarrrrgh. An hours drive to Christiana Mall in Delaware and $98 dollars poorer, I am a reluctant, kicking and screaming member of the Spanks Club. All this for a $23 dress from Steinmart. Two fully lost days. How can people enjoy shopping for clothing? There are millions of people in the stores and honestly, they seem so happy and excited, like they are enjoying themselves. And I see just lots and lots of people with way worse bodies than mine, buying clothing like they'll never have another chance and everything fits and looks great and money is no object. Clearly, I was meant for better things. As for you all seeing the dress, not in this lifetime, sistahs.
I think we can all relate at one time or another! Thanks for keeping it real Terry!!!
Last but not least, Happy Birthday to my son Dylan, who is 33 today! Love you!!
Kelly
WONDERFUL to see the red & white quilt finished. motivating me AGAIN! Loved reading Terry's angst again. she is truly our new Erma Bombeck!
ReplyDeleteI agree Terry needs a blog - she has a fantastic way with words!
ReplyDeleteNice to see the almost red and white quilt finished. You are just a little speed bunny. I couldn't see Cynthia's photo.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! and so true! Glad to find another "soul sister" who hates shopping like I do! Nothing fits, skirts are too short, yada yada - but fabric shopping, now you're talking! :) happy day!
ReplyDeleteWhat a funny story! Spanks brand is the BEST. They are expensive, but worth it, and they really hold up. Shopping was fun when I was young and thin, but I can commiserate with you. It is fun no more!
ReplyDeleteLove, love the red and white!!
Hillarious shopping adventure. I just told my co worker about Spanx and she had never heard of them, I've got the head to toe ones!
ReplyDeleteI see shoppers with their parts hanging all out, and they seem fine with it. I watched someone try on a dress and it was clearly too small, salesperson wanted to get her a bigger one, nope, she aske for a smaller one, tried it on, her and her friend LOVED it and they walked out with a new too small dress for Sat night. Go figure, what do I know?
Oh my goodness! Been there - done that!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be laughing about that for days, thanks Terry for letting us read your story. Shopping for clothes has to be the worst. It's great to see the HST quilt! Gosh it's a beauty! Good on you for getting through quilting it. Happy 33rd birthday to Dylan! I bet he loves his birthday quilt!
ReplyDeleteTerry definitely needs to be writing a blog! Too funny, and how well many of us can relate!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Terry's thoughts - very funny and I can relate having just spent weeks finding a dress to wear to my niece's wedding!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on finishing your red and white quilt. It looks great. Now we just need some cold weather so you can use it!
What color thread did you use to quilt it?
Your red and white looks great! Loved the spanx story - after dressing for 2 formal nights in 15 year old dresses, I totally, totally get it! lol.
ReplyDeleteThe quilt looks great! Even better since it's finished and on the bed!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you posted Terry's story. I had a good laugh all over again!